Monday, May 9, 2011

1/29/11- Please don't let this be

Since my beta number were not doing what they were supposed to and were actually slowing down, I got a call from the nurse basically tell me that there was a good chance I would miscarry. She was so blunt in describing each scenario and explaining that I have to be prepared for the pregnancy to end. Great.

That night, we had tickets to the Royal Rumble. Almost as soon as we got to the Garden, I started to spot. No !! Please please please don't let this be happening !!! There I was, in a public bathroom starting to bleed. I lost it. When I got back to our seats, I just couldn't deal with it. Not only was I bleeding but I actually passed a good sized clot. The main event hadn't even started so I felt bad about leaving. Jay saw how upset I was ( I didn't want to tell him everything just yet and get him all worked up) so he said it was no big deal if we left early. He would just stream the main event when we got home. So, we did. Once we got to our car, I told him my fears. Our entire ride home was almost in silence. Then, the Scorpions song 'Wind of Change' came on and we just both started singing along, practically in tears.

I called the nurse the next day to explain what was going on. She had me come in again for another blood test. If my number went down, it was over. The wait was the worst ever!

When the nurse finally called, I was so scared to pick up the phone. Holy cow, my numbers practically tripled ! The nurse went on to explain that she was pretty sure that the way my numbers slowed down and then I started to bleed meant that I had lost one of them. :( The whole time I only had thought that one had "taken" but now I know that they both successfully implanted but that I lost one. After describing the clot I passed, she was sure that was the beginning of the 2nd sac. ::sigh::

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